Years ago, there was a man on the committee which hired me in San Antonio. He had worked for the federal government since he returned home from military service in World War II. He was my Dad’s age, he had no kids, and my folks lived in Kansas City, so we became family of choice.
You’d have loved his warm smile and bright eyes flowing from his unselfish personality. You’d have respected how he climbed the ladder of GS ratings through devoted hard work. And, you’d have been heart broken when his kidneys failed.
We hear a lot of bad press about bureaucrats and federal employees pursuing and exercising power for selfish reasons. We need to hear more about people like my adoptive father. When he had to retire after 30 years of service, he had accrued a couple of years of vacation and sick time he had not used over his career. After he stopped working, he continued to receive the salary and benefits he had earned over the decades and made life a little easier on his wife during the treatment years.
I miss him.
I want to continue to work with and for people like him. His vocation was a federal employee, but his passion was this country. He served the nation to continue what was good and to solve bad problems. I want to serve such public servants. Your Blue Cross will pay for your services here.
If you need a counselor who is a preferred and experienced provider with your FEP insurance, no matter where you live (we can use Telehealth).
As Paul Harvey used to say, I’ll tell you the rest of the story: 509-466-6632.
I am working with three clients right now who entered counseling due to a toxic relationship with a coworker. I have been reminded of a time when my father had to deal with a toxic supervisor. Dad had spent his career on the railroad, retired, then was given an opportunity to help a neighbor by working as a security guard. While on the railroad, Dad had been involved with many coworkers who struggled with addictions and interpersonal relations problems. Even there, he had not worked for anyone as toxic as his new supervisor.
He called me one day and discussed all that he had tried and how frustrated he was dealing with this man every day. He said, “You’re a counselor, so what should I do, quit?”
My father had read through the Bible more times than anyone I’ve ever known, including my professors in seminary, who were very familiar with the Bible.
So, I asked, “Dad, what does the Good Book say about dealing with your enemies?”
He mumbled his reply, “pray for them.”
“What did you say?” I confronted.
“Pray for them,” he replied a little louder.
“Let’s just do that,” I suggested. He agreed. I started praying every morning for his boss.
A couple of weeks later, we were talking again, and I brought the subject up, “have you been praying for your supervisor?”
“Yes, twice each day,” Dad answered.
“Has anything changed?” I asked him.
“Well, yes it has,” he admitted. Dad described some of the changes he had noticed over the last two weeks that were big improvements in the attitudes and behaviors of his supervisor.
“That’s great!” I congratulated.
“It’s not just that,” Dad continued. “I’m not sure that all of the changes were from my boss.” Dad elaborated that praying twice a day for his supervisor may have also changed my Dad. My father thought our Heavenly Father must have also changed Dad’s perceptions of the man he was praying for.
Perhaps that is what Reinhold Niebuhr had in mind with his serenity prayer, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
It’s difficult enough to change ourselves, much less others. My father accepted that his co-worker had things that needed to change. I am glad that he had the courage to recruit help and that he took Biblical advice.
If you are going to work every day and spending more waking hours with coworkers than with your family, then recruit help like my father was humble enough to do. You might try what my father tried and pray for the most toxic employee. Observe what changes in your coworker and in you. You will at least be proud of yourself for doing something courageously and you’ll become more compassionate through your prayers. If you need more help, then call us at (509) 466-6632.
Conflict resolution is a way for two or more parties to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among them. The disagreement may be personal, financial, political, or emotional. When a dispute arises, often the best course of action is a negotiation to resolving the disagreement. We are here to help you resolve any and all issues and to improve communication for a more positive resolution and outcome to all problems and conflicts. Call us today and schedule an appointment, we will share with you some skills and techniques that can be lifelong.
Everyone gets stressed, yet not everyone loses their temper. Have you ever wondered what they know that you don’t know, the diplomats and others who handle potentially rage-producing situations with poise and grace?
Want to be cool and not look like a fool? Anger management helps you change your reaction even when you can’t change what happened to trigger your reaction. Of course, if you can do something to prevent angry situations from developing, you should, just like checking your vehicle so it does not break down.
We teach anger management skills to families and businesses.